After polytheism, the gravest sin is disobedience to the parents. A true Muslim cannot even imagine this evil act without being disgusted. Thankfulness, gentleness and gratitude are the three basic qualities that have made man to be a good person. One who does not plant these basic attitudes within themselves can fulfill neither his duties towards Allah nor the people: Hence, the Muslims who are obedient to Almighty Allah can never be disobedient or even careless to their parents.
Abu Bakr narrated that the Prophet said thrice, “Should I inform you out the greatest of the great sins?” They said, “Yes, O Allah’s Apostle!” He said, “To join others in worship with Allah and to be undutiful to one’s parents.” The Prophet then sat up after he had been reclining (on a pillow) and said, “And I warn you against giving a false witness, and he kept on saying that warning till we thought he would not stop.
[Sahih Bukhari No. 7, Vol. 8]
This hadith clearly shows the importance of obeying the parents.
DISOBEDIENCE TO MOTHERS
Mughira bin Shu’bah relates that the Prophet, [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] once said, “Allah has forbidden for you, (1) to be undutiful to your MOTHERS, (2) to bury your daughters alive, (3) to not to pay the rights of the others (e.g. charity, etc.) and (4) to beg of men (begging). And Allah has hated for you (1) vain, useless talk, or that you talk too much about others, (2) to ask too many questions, (in disputed religious matters) and (3) to waste the wealth (by extravagance).
[Sahih Bukhari No. 2253]
It also implies that we should take extreme care of the sentiments, habits, temperaments and likes and dislikes of mothers. We should not even imagine being rude and disobedient to her. By serving and obeying our mothers, we can be sure of earning the favor of Almighty Allah.
The extent of sufferings resulting from disobedience to mothers can be seen from the following hadith:
Once, when the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] was talking to his companions a man came and addressed him, “O Messenger of Allah! A young man is breathing his last. People are asking him to recite Shahada but he is unable to do so.” The Prophet [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] asked, “Did this man offer Salah (during his life)?” The answer was yes. Then he accompanied the man to the house of the dying young man along with others present at the time. The man was at the end of his life’s journey. The Messenger of Allah advised him to offer the Shahada. The man replied that he was unable to do so as the words would not come out of his mouth. He [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] then called for the mother of the dying man whom he had disobeyed persistently. When his aged mother approached the scene, the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] asked, ‘Respected lady, is he your son?” She replied yes. He then asked her a question, “O respected lady, if we threaten to throw your son into a raging fire, would you recommend him to be forgiven?” The lady replied that she would definitely do so at that time. The Prophet [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] then said to her, “If so, declare, making Allah and me your witnesses, that you are mow pleased with him.” The old woman readily declared, “O Allah, you and your Messenger be my witness that I am pleased with this beloved son of mine.”
Just after that, the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] turned to the dying man and asked him to recite, “There is no god but Allah, He is the One and has no partners and I witness that Muhammad is His Servant and Messenger.” By the virtue of the forgiveness of his mother, he found the words flowing out of his mouth and he recited the Shahada. Seeing this, the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] praised Almighty Allah and thanked Him saying, “Thanks to Almighty Allah that He saved this man from the fearful fire of Hell through me.”
[Tabarani and Ahmad]
Acknowledging the great favor of the parents is central to our success in being right with them, as they are the cause of our existence. It will enable us to see Ihsan towards the parents as a sign of a healthy, natural disposition.
Unfortunately, sometimes this disposition is distorted and people start viewing their own existence with resentment. Consequently, they blame their parents for bringing them into this world or that they may not be living at the ease and joy they think they deserve. Human beings existence is due to Allah and to Him alone, for He wills who will be one’s parents, where one will be born, the time of birth and what sustenance will he receive. Our parents have done us a great favor, our Creator has told us not to even show them signs of discontent if they did something we did not like or were wrong about anything. However, to pay back their favor by being loving, kind and dutiful to them is the absolute minimum that all of us have to endeavor to accomplish.
So let us Muslims not adapt the attitudes of the popular culture in which we find ourselves, where mothers are nothing more than serving girls and fathers nothing more than errand boys. We must combat what the television and society say about how parents should be treated, by sharing with our children what Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, and His Messenger, [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him], have said about the rights of parents. We as humans have a great impact on others. The society lives on the influence of others and we feed from it. So should we not be examples to others? Treat your parents with respect, be kind to them, assist them when they need your assistance, go to them when they are ill, treat them with care, particularly when they are in their old age, because not only are we doing it to please our lord but also to be an best of examples for our children. Our children will only learn if examples are out in front of them. Do not let the society put you to shame, or your children, or the ones after them and the ones after them.
By Umm Habiba
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